31 Halloween Jokes for Kids

31 Halloween Jokes for Kids + Printable Cards

Halloween is such a fun time of year, my kids always look forward to it! Aside from the candy, we also love to decorate at home as well as visit local attractions for some spooky fun. My kids and I love a good joke, so I put together a few Halloween themed jokes for them to enjoy. 

All of the jokes are available to print on cards, as pictured above. You can add these to your kids’ lunches or read one each day until Halloween arrives. Print: 31 Halloween Jokes for Kids – Printable Cards

Q. What kind of candy won’t a ghost ever touch?
A. Lifesavers

Q.How do you keep a skeleton from laughing?
A. Take away his funny bone!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid

Q.Why couldn’t the mummy attend the meeting?
A. He was all tied up

Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A. For the Boos

Q. What does a witch use to keep her hair in place when she flies?
A. Scare spray

Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A. He didn’t have a haunting license

Q. What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
A. Casket Ball

Q. What is the hardest thing to sell to a mummy?
A. Life Insurance

Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A. Because he is always a goblin

Q. What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?
A. Whipped scream

Q. What flies through the night, has a black cape, and bites people?
A. A mosquito wearing a black cape

Q. What are ghosts’ favorite kind of streets?
A. Dead ends

Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
A. Mas-scare-a

Q. What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?
A. Scream or sugar

Q. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A. A boo-tie

Q. How did the monster predict his future?
A – With a horror-scope

Q. What did the monster do when he lost his hand?
A. He went to a second hand store

Q. Why wouldn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he didn’t have any guts

Q.What do spooks call their Navy?
A. The ghost guard

Q. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to take

Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A . Because it was the chicken’s day off

Q. What is a ghost’s favorite throwing toy?
A. A boo-merang

Q. How do you make a witch faint?
A. Use a dizzy spell

Q. What do you get if you divide the circumference of your jack-o’-lantern by its diameter?
A. Pumpkin Pi

Q .  Why don’t ghosts like to go out in the rain?
A. Because it dampens their spirits

Q . Why do witches fly on brooms?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive

Q. How does a monster count to 33?
A. On his fingers

Q. Why do witches tend to make great authors?
A. They know how to write spellbinding novels

Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A.  It’s a pain in the neck

Q. What do you get when you cross a witch with a clown?
A . A Brew Ha-Ha

Happy Halloween!


Monika is a mom to 3 little lovebugs. She loves to laugh, write, craft, play and try new DIY projects. She started Life With Lovebugs as a way to share all of her household tips, recipes and playtime activities with other moms.

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